sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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