i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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