We're facebook friends in real life
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
