and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
