like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
