What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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