I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
