Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
