NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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