please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize