You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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