Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
