Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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