Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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