I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
