love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Randomize
