Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
