We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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