she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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