He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
