Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
