There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
