the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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