yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
