oh god the rape fog is back!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
