my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
