This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem