Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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  (859): While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight. http://tfl.nu/5wwv
  Replies (46) Good night (7090) Bad night (950)
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  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (793) Bad night (6590)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person

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  (912): I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person http://tfl.nu/xc27
  Replies (25) Good night (8289) Bad night (709)
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  (+44): View more from England

  Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

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  (+44): Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'. http://tfl.nu/zxab
  Replies (54) Good night (1856) Bad night (9924)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao

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  (830): just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao http://tfl.nu/019w
  Replies (17) Good night (4058) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1359) Bad night (3935)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  you better fuck at least one or both of them.

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  (970): We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes. (1-970): you better fuck at least one or both of them. http://tfl.nu/eeo0
  Replies (12) Good night (5126) Bad night (865)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

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  (303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it. http://tfl.nu/eofg
  Replies (11) Good night (1319) Bad night (6260)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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  (831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb
  Replies (37) Good night (1626) Bad night (7927)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.

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  (586): Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/5bcj
  Replies (14) Good night (4915) Bad night (2235)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.

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  (859): He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends. http://tfl.nu/6utj
  Replies (11) Good night (1459) Bad night (2923)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."

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  (828): after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...." http://tfl.nu/7e08
  Replies (16) Good night (3197) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.

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  (850): His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ofwy
  Replies (10) Good night (1854) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.

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  (714): So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions. http://tfl.nu/jiu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1890) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  That sucks

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!

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  (505): I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence (1-505): That sucks (505): It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee! http://tfl.nu/y3d0
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (339)

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