In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
