Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7159) Bad night (1449)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

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  (201): I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number. http://tfl.nu/78e6
  Replies (28) Good night (5164) Bad night (1086)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.

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  (613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/nxz1
  Replies (35) Good night (12148) Bad night (1349)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.

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  (727): I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake. http://tfl.nu/tfkj
  Replies (12) Good night (5642) Bad night (1271)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

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  (314): i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting. http://tfl.nu/k93x
  Replies (44) Good night (3993) Bad night (4492)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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  (901): I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick http://tfl.nu/35jp
  Replies (11) Good night (5072) Bad night (1177)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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  (647): the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is. http://tfl.nu/ndxc
  Replies (8) Good night (4532) Bad night (910)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.

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  (717): Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene. http://tfl.nu/3l38
  Replies (8) Good night (4332) Bad night (709)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.

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  (808): So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend? (832): Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required. http://tfl.nu/6w8v
  Replies (10) Good night (3135) Bad night (892)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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  (505): It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm. http://tfl.nu/vdhu
  Replies (15) Good night (4976) Bad night (886)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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  (479): DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. http://tfl.nu/l2ld
  Replies (8) Good night (400) Bad night (1270)
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  (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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  (858): Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we? http://tfl.nu/fuxn
  Replies (1) Good night (565) Bad night (303)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.

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  (207): Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've. http://tfl.nu/s8ox
  Replies (0) Good night (638) Bad night (362)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do

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  (616): Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do http://tfl.nu/yi0d
  Replies (5) Good night (1276) Bad night (397)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app? 

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  (314): How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?  http://tfl.nu/k0x3
  Replies (4) Good night (425) Bad night (283)

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