dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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