Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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