Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
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Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.