Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  b/c u have herpes

  (310): View more from California

  No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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  (310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss? (770): b/c u have herpes (310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole. http://tfl.nu/unxh
  Replies (19) Good night (1025) Bad night (5518)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts

  (678): View more from Georgia

  too late i think im gettin a gcui

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  (678): quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts (678): too late i think im gettin a gcui http://tfl.nu/nfhn
  Replies (12) Good night (760) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  all we need is a web designer

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  and a bunch of prostitutes

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  (973): all we need is a web designer (1-973): and a bunch of prostitutes http://tfl.nu/pfgf
  Replies (19) Good night (2448) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.

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  (201): I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful. http://tfl.nu/v9lp
  Replies (11) Good night (5040) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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  (330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg
  Replies (36) Good night (774) Bad night (5278)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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  (870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3
  Replies (43) Good night (7666) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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  (256): I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with. http://tfl.nu/f7yk
  Replies (11) Good night (5981) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry

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  (715): I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry http://tfl.nu/qzk6
  Replies (23) Good night (1601) Bad night (4077)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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  (423): She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk." http://tfl.nu/peq8
  Replies (9) Good night (2552) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.

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  (662): She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list. http://tfl.nu/gj4y
  Replies (21) Good night (3304) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1338) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.

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  (505): We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon. http://tfl.nu/nv69
  Replies (15) Good night (1755) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

  (1-916): View more from California

  People like that make this world a better place.

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  (916): this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse (1-916): People like that make this world a better place. http://tfl.nu/pvsx
  Replies (3) Good night (1671) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub

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  (334): What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub http://tfl.nu/it3y
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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  (586): Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent. http://tfl.nu/up93
  Replies (5) Good night (749) Bad night (228)

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