I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.