Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going