i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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