I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people