Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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  (850): Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday http://tfl.nu/xmv6
  Replies (36) Good night (5910) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.

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  (609): Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/lzo0
  Replies (21) Good night (5482) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

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  (902): I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor. http://tfl.nu/v10d
  Replies (9) Good night (3612) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5418) Bad night (1501)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.

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  (408): He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize. http://tfl.nu/u4mt
  Replies (29) Good night (780) Bad night (6493)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.

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  (414): can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved. http://tfl.nu/t1em
  Replies (13) Good night (2217) Bad night (3744)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1291) Bad night (2777)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.

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  (760): I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation. http://tfl.nu/wrn9
  Replies (9) Good night (4057) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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  (919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9
  Replies (4) Good night (2692) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.

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  (720): I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else. http://tfl.nu/ss1v
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here

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  (503): i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here http://tfl.nu/1c81
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

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  (845): "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life. http://tfl.nu/f41e
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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  (954): Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/lib4
  Replies (12) Good night (619) Bad night (2373)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?

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  (805): I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal? http://tfl.nu/khtc
  Replies (7) Good night (725) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?

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  (315): why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing? http://tfl.nu/jphv
  Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (183)

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