She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
