I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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