I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
