i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
