turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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