She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
