I murdered the dance floor call the cops
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
