No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
