Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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