i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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