I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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