Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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