absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
