Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
