I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize