I want to make a zoo with you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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