I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
