oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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