I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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