His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
