If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
