You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
