my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Bring me that man meat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
