Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
