yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
