Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
