Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
